カウンセリング@代々木上原・音楽療法・心理療法 GIM

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You can be always with your loved ones

This is a daily that I wrote a couple of days ago.

It is full of my personal feeling, but I share it with you anyway.

***


My kids called me in in evening and asked my permission for the sleepover at their friend's house. I was at the middle of my work and felt relieved: "Yey! I don't need to cook dinner tonight."


After I finished working, I suddenly realized that I was alone at home and no one would accompany me for my dinner. Since this alone time popped up out of blue, I did not plan any fun staff to indulge such a precious me time night, I felt a bit lonely. It's rare for me to feel in that way since I always appreciate planned alone nights. Being a mam for 12 years, being alone is such a gift.

I thought "why don't I start watching US drama series that I have self-disciplined for many months since I knew if I would start watching, I would not been able to stop watching for the next 12 hours, at least. But, the reality is that I have only several hours to go to bed at the decent time. I need to wake up feeling up to have a music together class with energetic little kids and parents.

I ended up doing boring and mandatory little staff that I have somewhat avoided to be done for the last couple of weeks, at least being accompanied by the loud "recorded" live jazz music from an internet radio program. No fancy Tokyo girl's night out nor no non-ordinary happenings.

This sharply appeared glimpse of the quiet night at the middle of the full of daily hassles only gave me a chance to make ends meet. It's felt a bit unfair but good enough. My kids are having unpredicted super fun night. I wish I would have done something "Satuday-ish".

The truth is that this life itself is already special. I don't ask any more. I am contended with the fact that my kids are happy without physically being with me. They can talk to me and feel me, who are solidly internalized inside them. Since they are confident in their deep in psyche about that my home is their home where they can be themselves. They've learned that physical distance does not mean the total separation.

When you are thinking of the person, you are already being with him/her.

Within 5 minutes, here comes the end of today. I'd better off stop murmuring.
Let's take a bath listening to only water sounds and go to sleep without nodding to kids' bed time talk,
but feeling deeply my children's precious presence in my mind.
Warmth of mutual unconditional love.

Good night.

#音楽心理療法体験談 まとめページ


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by totoatsuko | 2017-12-18 09:23 | Comments(0)
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音楽療法士(GIM)のつれづれ


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